a little reflection...

A little over a week ago, my mother’s twin brother passed away. I always thought I was what most would consider “a family guy”. My wife and I didn’t move out of state because we wanted to be close to family. As it turns out, I couldn’t really tell you a whole lot about my uncle. I know he was like a “second father” to my cousin (and my grandfather was my cousin’s “first father”, being that his biological dad hasn’t had much to do with him since about age 5).

Other than that, I didn’t really know a lot about my uncle. Here’s what I do know: He served two tours in Vietnam. He had two sons who turned out okay and now live on the other side of the continent. He and his wife were separated but never divorced. He was a good guy (although a bit lazy) and he’d help just about anyone who needed it. He used to ride his bike on a 150 mile Multiple Sclerosis bike-a-thon until his knees started to give out on him.

I didn’t know him much more than that. I’m not saying that I should have known his favorite color, ice cream, or meal, but I could have talked to him and learned a little more about him as a person and not think of him as just my uncle. I guess I’m worried that people go through my life knowing me but not knowing me.

I guess that’s how life just is though. People float in and they float out. I can think of plenty of people I was (or that I thought I was) friends with in high school. These days, I talk to only about three of them on a regular basis and I only graduated with one of those three. Friends of old have faded into the background.

I don’t know what I’m looking for, but the death of my uncle has taught me to attempt to get to know people better. It’s not been two weeks yet, but hopefully I can keep up with trying to get to know people a little better for more than another two weeks.